Humor

How To Not Clean Your Room

A quick guide

Image by Mote Oo Education from Pixabay

As I write this, I sit in a dumpster. I mean, my bed.

Let me visualize it for you.

There’s a blanket sulking by my left foot and on my right, a laptop charger tangling itself to infinity. Somewhere under this dumpster is a yellow AC remote, I’m sure. And I promise you it was really white when I first bought it.

Right in front of me lies the hand towel that’s been staring at me past this entire hour as I wrote this. I’m certain it’s going to continue the stalk-fest for quite a week. Meanwhile, I’ll ignore its presence.

“No eye contact. I repeat, no eye contact!” — *Shouts in the head*

“Oh gimme a break! You just came from the washer!” — *Shouts out loud*

Okay so, back to ignoring.

Did I mention my desk? That guy’s the most annoying of everyone. Yeah sure it’s blue and white and all those fancy things but you know what else it is? A dinosaur — a Dinosaur Desk. Literally takes up 3/4th of the space that my dumpster leaves behind.

Hence, I decided it deserves some punishment. Stuffed him with a few boxes and some leftovers from my everyday salad. Also, about 50 wrappers of my favorite chips. But that is not the punishment. The punishment is…